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Finding “The One” is rough. Countless songs, movies, and novels agree that the process of discovering that perfect match with whom you can spend your life feels borderline impossible. And when you cherish a unique set of values which encourages you to be especially mindful during this process, it can at times feel overwhelming! However, finding a partner as a modern Muslim doesn’t have to be impossible. Here are a few common pitfalls in Halal dating and how you can avoid them.
The Clash of the Modern Lifestyle with Traditional Values
Once upon a time, the community had you covered. When it was time to find a partner, your auntie had a list of options, or the community elder could be counted on for some good ideas. These days, the idea of community has changed. We are more spread out than ever, and it is increasingly difficult for our traditional “matchmakers” to truly know us. Meanwhile, all our schoolmates are happily pairing off with the perfect match they met at the bar or while swiping away on their smartphone. The ease of their pairing is enviable if not their methods. Yet we still have faith and pride in our faith. So what to do?
While it may be tempting to simply follow suit with our school friends and head to a party in search of companionship, we know that this approach is not what our faith has in mind for us. Yet that doesn’t mean that we can’t engage in enjoyable activities designed to help us find a partner while still honoring our faith. The key is being mindful and choosing only potential partners who will respect and help us in this pursuit.
Finding Appropriate Options
So, of course, that brings us to our next problem. Where do we find these potential partners with whom we can pursue a connection without risking our values? In a world where we are more connected to our digital life than our family life, knowing who shares our values can be tricky.
Potentially one of the best ways to resolve this issue is by using a matchmaking Muslim app, such as MuslimOnly. Think of these apps as a modern, digital version of your well-connected auntie. By using these services, you can go to one place and find a whole selection of eligible and appropriate potential partners. Better still, you are “meeting” them in a safe and modest forum.
Differing Goals
Particularly for Muslims living in diverse communities where not everyone shares the same faith, making sure that you are on the same page as a potential partner can be troublesome. There is nothing more uncomfortable than sitting down to talk to an person about shared interests and goals, only to find out that he or she is only looking for a short-term good time.
Communication is key. Remember that if your goal is to seek a lifelong partner, prioritize connections which will lead to that result. Know your own goals and know what is essential in your partner before you begin to explore. Then, make it a habit to cultivate only the connections which match with those values. Online matchmaking apps can make this especially easy by presenting much of this key information directly in your profile. That way, you both know exactly what you expect before anyone gets attached or gets hurt.
Challenges in Appropriate Interactions
As the saying goes, a man and a woman are never alone in a room—there is always a third presence in the form of temptation. Of course, you don’t want to marry or date a stranger. So how do you get to know your potential partner without putting you both into compromising situations?
As a general rule, friends and family are a great solution to this dilemma. Group settings are an excellent way to get to know a person enough in the initial stages to determine if they share our values and goals and would make a good partner. As the connection develops, a group may not always be necessary, but there are still great ways to get to know someone in settings such as public cafes or similar locations. This enables you to focus on the important connections at hand without inviting temptation to join you at the table.
Don’t forget that online texting and chatting can be a great and safe way to further your connection. Just remember to keep the conversation on your priorities and leave the intimate chat for down the road!
About MuslimOnly
MuslimOnly is a Muslim app where single Muslims meet which focus on catering to Muslims seeking dating and marriage while adhering to their Islamic values and beliefs.
Download links:
iOS: https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/muslimonly-1-app-to-meet-single/id1116028852
Website: www.muslimonlyapp.com
